Paternal Family Reunion: It Just Might Be Happening...


My last post was about always being the bridesmaid and never the bride in regard to finding my natural father, and paternal reunion. Well, it appears I may be the bride as soon as the end of February! How quickly things can change.

I've been on this rollercoaster ride more than a time or two, and I've taken so many people with me. That gives me pause for thought to share about this. I hate being disappointed but I hate disappointing others even more. So I try to hold the information in. And yet, anyone who reads here for long knows my pattern...I can't help but blog about it!

I'm at the end of the line with leads except for this one. This is my very last hope where it concerns the name my natural mother gave the adoption agency as to who my natural father was. I realize it's not the end of the line altogether -- there is always something more to do and it's never the end of a search until you've found. But as far as this name? It's the end. I will have exhausted my search for men by this name in the USA.

Ironically this is the man my husband thought was my natural father all along since we first discovered the name in my adoption agency file. He fits 95% of all the information I have. He fits the exact name, height, weight, hair color, eye color, all 3 occupations, location at the time of my conception and birth and more.  But I thought there was no way it could be this man, for several reasons. Now that I have connected with this family, I would be shocked if it isn't him despite the one or two things that give me pause for thought. The overwhelming thing that caused me to doubt was what I found so far in researching this man's family tree. It doesn't fit the ethnicity mix given to me on the DNA sites. HOWEVER...I have done a lot of reading on this lately and discovered that while matches with people can be trusted as totally accurate, the ethnic mix given on these sites is not necessarily an exact science.  

So first things first...he's deceased, as I expected. However, the family has welcomed me. In fact I feel about this family stronger than I have felt about any I have ever contacted in my search.

Remember "M" from my past search who I thought may be my cousin? She and I had a real connection and she hoped as much as I did that we were a match. But I didn't have a connection to others in the family as I did to her. Anyone  I have ever contacted in my paternal search who has seemed possible and taken a DNA test has said, "We hope for your sake that this is a match so you can have some closure." However this is the first family who says, "We hope for all our sakes that this is a match." They really seem to want to be a match with me as much as I want to be a match with them. It's really an overwhelmingly wonderful feeling.

If this is a match, everything makes so much sense.

Everything.

My possible (hopeful!) cousin says to me, "This just feels right."

But I know everything isn't decided on feelings, so...

The DNA test is on it's way, and we should know by end of February. However in the meantime I'm putting pieces together. And, if this is my paternal family, I have figured things out.

If this is not my paternal family, I will be back to square one.

And I will be okay.

In the meantime I have met some absolutely wonderful people who didn’t hang up on a stranger.
  
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