The Goodness of God...Or Your Adoptive Parents' Bad and Inexcusable Behavior?



First let’s get this out of the way. 

My adoptive parents always told me from day one that I am adopted and gave me all the information they knew. This post has nothing to do with them. It’s a shame that I should even feel the need to make this disclaimer up front. But the truth is, when any adoptee writes about something like this (or speaks up in any way other than to speak of the institution of adoption in anything but glowing terms) we are branded as bitter, angry and ungrateful -- particularly toward our adoptive parents. Okay now with that out of the way…

What I am about to describe is not an isolated incident. I hear of this quite often among Christian adoptees, so today I am speaking to it. 


There are adoptees who find out the truth about their birth parents identity and their history only after their adoptive parents' death. The parents manage to carefully hide the truth from their son or daughter, for the duration of their life. And then, the adoptee begins the process of sorting through their parents' estate when they die. They sift through file cabinets, attic boxes and safe deposit boxes. Then once they find the holy grail of info about themselves that they formerly lacked, and are connected at last with birth relatives they and others around them exclaim, “How amazing! The goodness of God!”

No actually it’s not God.
It's not good.
It’s not sovereign. 

It's deplorable.

It's a horrible revelation of the true character of the parents who raised you and the degree to which they brainwashed you about God's character.
It's a tragedy that you did not know the truth of your origin sooner. 
And it wasn't God's fault or doing that you didn't know.

Please don’t blame this on God.
It’s not “a miracle.”

If this is God…if this is a "miracle" that you did not find out the truth until your adoptive parents died…if this is His goodness and sovereignty in action…

No wonder many people out there don’t want to know Him!

“I am so thankful to God,” reunited adoptee exclaims upon their adoptive parents death and their subsequent adoption reunion made possible. “He does all things well.”

Yes, He does. Your parents…not so much. They had the chance to tell the truth while they were alive and they didn’t. Oh I know. It was because they “loved” you so much.

No wonder so many adoptees say they find love to be strange, confusing…

Please for the sake of all that is honest and true – somebody tell me just one REAL reason any of this sort of thing is labeled sovereign, good or God?

Nobody should have to die for a person to find out the truth about themselves.