I Cannot Live With You If You Are One of "Those People"!!!


This is us!

My marriage could have seriously been in jeopardy this past year, over an Ancestry test. 

No, it's not what you think. 

This past year my husband tested on Ancestry. He was really excited to do it, and to investigate his family heritage. Before he tested, I warned him that he may well find some surprises along the way. “You might have relatives you don’t know about – even close ones,” I said, “and when you do, you have to help them.”
 
“Well, how do I know if I want to help them if I don’t even know them yet?” he said. 

“You don’t have a choice but to help them!" I said. "You’re married to me!” LOL

Okay, I just said LOL, but really I wasn't joking. Not at all.

I didn't care if that test showed that he had 10 siblings he didn't know about. He's married to Deanna Shrodes gosh darn it, and that means he helps people who take DNA tests. It's The. Way. It. Is.  

I told my husband in no uncertain terms, "I cannot live with you if you are one of those people!" 

"Who are those people?" he said. 

"Those people are those who don't help other people who are trying to find their family. 
  
Nope, can't live with those people! Just. Can't. Do. It.

That is a special type of cruelty that cannot co-exist with me.

So, the Shrodes didn’t have to wait long to actually have to live this out. Larry didn't have any siblings waiting in the wings, or any kids I didn't know about. Nevertheless there were surprises. Someone reached out who was a cousin match, searching for their father. Larry knew the information they needed.  He helped the person as soon as they reached out so they could connect the dots as well as get connected personally. I was never so excited in my life!! And, thank God, I can stay married now. Or at least in my bed and not have to move to the couch or make him do it.

In the past month I have encountered two people in my search who were not helpful. That's okay, they will both receive a victorious "I did it!" postcard in the mail from me when the search is complete.    

I have the type of job where I don’t have the option of isolating myself from the public at large. And I don’t want to. However there is a difference between the public at large, those who are in your inner circle. Plenty of people  exist who deny human being’s basic human desire to know the truth of who they are and where they come from. Thankfully they are much fewer in my experience than those who have a desire to help – and to live truthfully. All I’m saying is that I don’t need this kind of negativity in my life up close and personal.  I am friends with many people who don't share my religious or political views. But this is an issue I just can't build a bridge on. 

Thank God Larry helped this person. We can proceed on to year 32 of our marriage!