October 21, 2014

Safe People

Expressing the many mixed emotions brought on by the adopted life is not always easy. You have to know who is safe when it comes to sharing.
I find there are two types of sharing.

The first is sharing to unload emotions.
The second is sharing to educate.

Both are necessary but  have potential to trigger anxiety or depression (or other things that are not-so-fun) if not managed well.

When I share with somebody an aspect of life adopted, I have to be so careful that I’m sharing with the right person at the right time. Otherwise, it may take quite a bit of resolve or the healing touch of God to rebound from just one single conversation.

Can one conversation put a person back in recovery?

Yes, I believe it can. Okay, truth be told: been there, bought the t-shirt AND the mug.

Even among adoptees, people hold vastly different viewpoints which make sharing tricky.  Perhaps nothing can throw you into an emotional tailspin than having someone who does walk in your shoes telling you you’ve got it all wrong.

A conversation boundary of sorts has entered my world. It’s there to maintain emotional health, not to mention a certain level of concentration needed for my job. I can’t take the chance of a conversation leaving me emotionally limping. And one intense conversation filled with utter disregard for all I know to be personally true regarding my own experience can send me to a place I really don’t want to be in.

I believe as with anything, in the adopted life you get to know who the safe people are, and when and where you can talk without reserve. 

Those sacred spaces are few and far between. 
But they are there.