September 27, 2013
September 25, 2013
|Photo Credit: Lee J. Haywood, Flickr|
At the outset here, let me say, there is no judgment here.
Only love, help and hope!
I have heard your hearts cry. We're launching a new column here specifically speaking to adoptee marriage issues. [Insert wild cheering here.]
New Feature at AR: Adoptee Marriage!
I say "we" because...I’m not going to write this regular column alone – my husband of 26 years is going to join me. It’s only fitting. Not only has he walked through life with me for almost three decades, but he’s also got the most popular post here at Adoptee Restoration.
What can you expect out of this ongoing series? I’ll be writing some posts alone, and so will Larry. And some, we will co-write.
We’re going to address everything, and I do mean everything.
September 23, 2013
Throughout the journey of life, I've encountered so many obstacles, all of which I won't list here if for no other reason than it would go against every rule of successful blogging.
I will share just a few.
My husband and I were the pastors of an abusive church at one time. (This is more common for pastors to experience than you may think.)
|Photo Credit: JeffPearce, Flickr|
Years ago, Larry and I lost our jobs, home, income, social network and more - all at once. We experienced the loss of everything except each other and our kids, and a few other material possessions. We didn't have money to rent storage. The few things we still owned were stored in an empty Sunday School room of a church that had compassion on us.
The experience of pastoring the abusive church and the loss that resulted was a wake up call that showed us who our real friends were. Some stood by us and some didn't. I was able to quickly cut our Christmas card list by two-thirds. (That was back when I was still sending Christmas cards. Now I just do a Facebook update that tells everybody Merry Christmas in about two seconds minus the need to spend fifty bucks on stamps.)
I’ve faced absolutely off-the-wall happenings nobody would believe unless I had witnesses to testify to it.
Stuff like the first week of our pastorate in Tampa starting off with a murder.
September 20, 2013
|Photo Credit: zanten.net., Flickr|
September 18, 2013
September 16, 2013
|Photo Credit: dimnikolov, Flickr|
September 11, 2013
Is there a place for insider humor? I think so. If we don't laugh, we'll cry! In fact, laughing when people say things like this IS my literal response many times. I find laughing helps to stay relatively sane when faced with such insanity.
Let the adoptee good times roll! Here we go...
|First give them this... my best, "You've got to be kidding" look...|
Then, deliver one of these comebacks without cracking a smile.
2) “Good thing my state has Concealed Carry. But I’m fixin’ to unconceal…”
3) “I’m going to count to 10 and give you a running start before you’re touched by adoption…1...2...3...4...”
4) “Pat Robertson just called. The “People Who Say the Most Ludicrous Things Ever Award” that he keeps winning year after year is on it’s way to you! Congrats.”
5) “Evidently you’re a survivor too? Surely you’ve been pistol whipped for saying stuff like this, before. Or, is this your first attempt at hurtful-not-to-mention-inappropriate? If so, kudos to you. You nailed it!”
6) “The other night when I peed it really burned...oh I’m sorry…is this the conversation where we say things to other people that are just...awkward? Cause that’s what it feels right now so I was just playing along…”
7) “Chris Christie called. Wants to know if you’ll join him in two years as his running mate for the presidency. You can partner with him in hurting adoptees."
8) “How have you processed your mom’s decision about aborting you or not? [silent pause for effect] What? I’m surprised you haven’t thought about the fact that your mother had the same option and obviously didn’t take it…not sure why you’ve singled me out…”
9) “So do you think we should attack Syria?” [silent pause for effect] Hey, I’m just following your lead in making ludicrous suggestions.
10) "You should just be glad right now that I know Jesus. Sorry you haven't hung out with Him for a while. I can tell you haven't or you'd never say what you just did."
September 9, 2013
This post is the second in the , Why It’s Never Helpful to Tell Adoptees to Be Grateful They Weren’t Aborted series.
After exploring this subject and bringing some
enlightenment to those who had no clue of this fact, I’d now like to move on to
bring some of my adoptee and first mother friends to talk about another related
issue in response to this question. That is, the fact that adoption and
abortion are not the same issue. After they share, I’ll wrap things up.
Deanna: Adoptee friends, why is it not helpful to tell adoptees to just be grateful they weren't aborted?
September 6, 2013
Once I share a few of their comments, I'm going to weigh in...
September 4, 2013
September 2, 2013
|Photo Credit: Renett Stowe, Flickr|