Before you e-mail me, please read this.. Thank you.
You are more amazing than sliced bread.
Can you help me find my family member?
I am not a search angel nor a professional searcher. My area of focus is writing on adoptee issues, not completing searches. Connecting with a search angel is the best way to get search help. I recommend Priscilla Stone Sharp, a search angel, genealogist and adoptee rights advocate who leads the search angel network. She can put you in touch with a certified search angel, and she can be reached here.
Can you advise me about DNA?
I am not a DNA expert. I have undergone DNA testing, but I am going through the process just as others are, for the first time. I do have several blog posts about my experience. Everything I know about DNA is written in those posts. If you have additional questions about DNA, I would recommend you go to Richard Hill’s website, or purchase his book. You may do so, here.
Do you do counseling?
I am not a therapist, or licensed professional counselor. I am unable to provide counseling for those who read the blog. Many people ask me how to find a Christian therapist who truly understands adoptee issues. The way I found my therapist was to email therapists in the area with a brief email to inquire about a few things before setting an appointment. The first question I ask is, “Do you recognize that significant loss and trauma is related to adoption?” Keep going until you find a therapist who answers your inquiry in a way you are comfortable with.
Bonnie Martin, MEd, CACS, LCPC is a therapist we recently featured here on the blog and concerning finding a therapist, she gives the following advice in this post: "I would advise a state licensed professional counselor who has studied complex trauma, psychodynamic theory, attachment focused therapy and/or complicated grief. Finding a good therapist is like finding a good pair of shoes. You may have to try a few on for size until you find the right fit."
Can you call me?
I am not able to schedule phone calls with blog readers. I have been contacted by many people who read a post that really speaks to them, and feel they need to have a phone conversation with me about what they are going through. I do care deeply about every person who reads here. But with the demands of my schedule, I am simply unable to do phone calls. I thank you for your understanding.
Can you Skype with me?
Will you pray for me?
Absolutely. Send me a brief email with your request to firstname.lastname@example.org and you can be assured, I will add your request to my prayer list. I take this very seriously.
I am looking for resources to help with_________. Can you help?
Before you email me about a resource or issue, please click my Resources page. Chances are I have already listed something there that speaks to your issue. Also, check out the “”Find it Here” at the bottom right hand corner of the blog with a long list of topics that may speak to your issue. It's a strong possibility that I’ve already written about it. Writing this blog and responding in the comments is THE main way I help people in the adoption community. And, if you live in the Tampa Bay area, I host a monthly support group.
Will you read my book?
Many people have asked me to read their adoption related books. I have a long list in the queue. I will be happy to add yours if it is on relevant issues along the lines of what I’m writing about.
Will you check out my blog?
Sure! Send me the link at email@example.com and I will check it out as I have time. (Please don't message me every day, asking if I've read it yet. YES, there are people who actually do that! LOL)
Will you read my story and get back to me with feedback?
When I first began Adoptee Restoration I had a “Submit Your Story” page. I underestimated how many stories I would receive and how long they would be. As you can see, I’ve since taken the page down. I have more stories in the queue than I am able to keep up with. This is a good problem to have, but I have to be honest, I can’t keep up! I handle everything for this site myself. I do not have an Adoptee Restoration personal assistant.
I do know the importance of us sharing our stories. I encourage you to share your story! Start a blog. Get it out there! Many of you have read my story. I am so blessed by that. I know there are a bazillion stories out there you could be reading, and you read mine.
I do love to read stories as I have time. You may send me a blog link or paste it in the body of an email. Please do not send me attachments to download.
Can I do a guest post for Adoptee Restoration?
Guests posts at Adoptee Restoration are generally from people I have developed relationships with in the community, and approach to write on a certain topic. From time to time I may use a post of someone I do not know and have not approached if it fits the current needs of the blog. You are welcome to submit a guest post and I will review it and if interested in using it in the future I will get back to you and let you know when it will be a fit.
How do I contact you about a speaking engagement?
For adoption related events, inquire at firstname.lastname@example.org
For Christian related speaking events/preaching, my speaking page is found here. You can inquire at email@example.com
For all information concerning booking me for your event, go here.
To contact me about adoption/adoptee related issues:
Please use the firstname.lastname@example.org address.
I underestimated the volume of mail I would receive when I started this blog. I am not able to answer it all each day and sometimes not even each week. I try my best to answer as many letters a day as possible. I do read every letter. And eventually I do respond personally. I care about everyone who reads here, and their situations, and want to reach out and help. At the same time, I do have a life outside the blog. I pastor a church full time, coach professionally, travel and speak and most importantly... I have a family. My family is my first priority.
Please understand that when I do respond to email, my response isn't like a blog post. Replies are generally short, as my time is limited.
I thank you so much for your understanding.
Blessings and love,