For me, being an adoptee has meant growing up with the feeling that my life circumstances were dictated to me out of my control. And in a sense they were for the first 18 years. I had no say in any of the decisions that were made in the beginning of my life. And, like any other child – I didn’t make the rules when I was growing up. That part is normal, for anyone adopted or not.
However, that time is past.
Yesterday is gone.
It’s a new day.
I have had to try to overcome the mindset I had for a long time that I am on a path set by others -- one I cannot change. One that I must just accept whatever comes to me, and try to navigate my way through it.
Even in my adult life I've kind of had a mindset that I need to "wait and see what the grown ups decide." Well, guess what...I am the grown up. I don't need to wait to see what they decide and I don't necessarily have to put up with what they decide, unless I want to.
It's easy to come to a place where we let life happen to us rather than us happening to life. I want to make something happen in life, not just wait around to see what’s going to happen to me. Sometimes I forget – I have the power to make decisions.
But recently I have journeyed through a time of growth in this area of my life. It’s not limited to adoptee-related things, but everything that touches my life.
This thought is revolutionary to me:
I’m not a victim. I’m a decision maker.
If something is not healthy for me, I have the power to change it.
If it doesn't work for me, I have the ability to change it.
I don’t have to just lay down and take it and say, “It is what it is.”
My potential awaits.
I can allow other people to determine my path or I can be the decision maker.
I’m not a baby anymore in the arms of the social worker at the Children’s Home Society.
I am a grown woman who has a purpose.
No longer do I see anything in my life as something I just have to put up with. I think it’s a combination of a God-thing in my life (an awakening) and being in my 50’s and knowing I don’t have forever here on earth. I am not going to waste my life letting others dictate my happiness, potential, or peace.
So that’s the purpose of this blog post, to tell you what I’ve been journeying through in my life and to encourage every adoptee – stop letting life happen to you!!!
Get out there and decide things for yourself. Make some bold moves. Refuse to just float along and wait to see what happens. Act now. You have the power!
It’s good to be grown.