Different is No Cause for Dismissal of a Person or Story

There are times I meet an adoptee whether in person or online and they say, “Oh my gosh, it’s like we are living parallel lives! My head might fall off from nodding so much while I read your story…”

Then, there are those who say, “My situation is nothing like yours. At all." 

And isn’t that entirely NORMAL?

When did not living as a cookie cutter become a crime?

Why are some intent on dismissing a person or story because it's not anything similar to their own?

We meet people whose journey is so much like ours, it’s uncanny.

We also meet those with whom we have little in common.

Two adoptees raised in the same house have two different stories. 

That doesn’t mean there’s a problem with my story.

Or yours.
 Or theirs.

It simply means we’re different.

Different is no cause for dismissal.

It’s just…different.

Different is good.

How The Church Hurt Me An Adoptee Speaks Out (Part 3)

What happens when adoptees share their story at church? The result can bring healing, or harm.

Today's story comes from my friend and fellow Lost Daughters blogger, Samantha. Her story breaks my heart, but also makes me glad I'm a pastor. I want to do absolutely everything in my power to make sure that this NEVER happens at our church. And I want to do everything I can to increase awareness in my sphere of influence with other pastors and leaders.  I am passionate about bringing change regarding this issue, if you can't already tell!  

You can read more of Samantha's writings at her adoption blog, Neither Here Nor There.

As with Part One and Part Two of this series, I will let the story speak for itself and not comment further on the actual post. I look forward to joining readers in the comment section.

Samantha shares:

I am an adoptee in reunion, and love both my families, yet I still have healing to do. I recently joined a women's group at church that is going through the 12 steps of spiritual recovery. I have joined this group in hopes of moving further along on my journey. 

How the Church Hurt Me An Adoptee Speaks Out (Part Two)

This post is part two in an ongoing series here at Adoptee Restoration. If you missed the first post, go here and check it out. 

I don't know when I'm going to end this series. The sad thing is, it could go on forever and there would be no shortage of people's stories to tell.  

Today's story comes from my friend and fellow Lost Daughters sister, Julie. She is an adult adoptee who was born, adopted and raised in a closed-record state in the northeast United States. She has been in reunion with her paternal and maternal natural families since 1998. In addition to serving on the boards of two adoptee rights organizations, she is a published journalist and an award winning copywriter. She blogs regularly here as well as serving as co-editor and a columnist at Lost Daughters. 

As I did previously with Jenn's story, I will give no further remarks at the end of Julie's story here on the post. I encourage you to read and give your thoughts in the comment thread.

Julie’s story

My original parents were high school sweethearts, attending a religious school. My natural mother was raised in a very strict religious home. When they conceived me during their freshman year of college at a religious university, they decided to get married. My paternal grandparents offered their home and full support in raising me. My maternal grandparents did not approve of my father and immediately consulted the pastor.

How The Church Hurt Me... An Adoptee Speaks Out (Part One)

Since I've been an active part of the adoption community, I've heard countless stories from my adoptee friends about how they've been hurt by the church, and why many of them want nothing to do with it. It breaks my heart. There are nights I read their stories with tears streaming down my face.  


Hearing their stories is part of what compelled me to start this blog. There are so many to share, it will take more than a post. Therefore, this is part one of an ongoing series.

Am I sharing these posts with the goal of bashing the church? No. Please understand, I love the church. Not to mention my full time vocation is serving in the church. However, God hates injustice and we should too.  Those of us who are aware must speak up so that change can come. For those of you who think this type of behavior only existed in past, think again.  

Many of my adoptee friends have never openly shared their stories of how the church has affected their lives. They have only told other adoptees. Now they have bravely agreed to open up in this forum, because I have asked them to.