When I started Adoptee Restoration, I was concerned about how some of my friends would react – particularly the ones who are adoptive parents. (AP's)
I never desire to hurt anyone by what I write -- ever! And, especially not long term friends I have developed a great love for over the years. At the same time, I knew God was calling me to write on this subject. My heart went through a tug of war over how much to bare my soul on the issues.
Although the response has varied, I have been pleasantly surprised by the reaction. It has brought me closer to quite a number of my AP friends, instead of further away. With open hearts and conversations we can build a bridge rather than a wall.
Yesterday, I received this letter from a long time friend, who is an AP with young children in a closed adoption. She reads my posts here faithfully and sometimes asks me questions privately in follow up. I was so overwhelmed to receive this letter from her last night, it brought me to tears. I asked if I could share it and right away, she said yes.
(Names besides mine are changed.)
(Names besides mine are changed.)
Hey there, Deanna!
I just have to share this praise with you! Brian and I have found Kayla’s First Mom!! We are beyond amazed at what God has done. And of all places, I found her on Facebook. I can't believe it! She has just shared Kayla’s picture on Facebook, and has told us what a wonderful healing this has brought to her.I can't wait to share this with Kayla. Please be in prayer for us as we present this news to her, in an age appropriate way, that we will be ever mindful of her feelings.Praise God! I wouldn't have ever... and I mean ever searched if I hadn't been educated by your blogs and the blogs of others.God is the ultimate healer and provider. Keep letting God use you Deanna. I am just amazed at your heart. Your story has really changed my heart.I sought God's will in having children, and I just want them to be whole -- spiritually, physically, and mentally. I want them to know that they were NOT a mistake, and they don't have a job. :)Kayla's first mom is a dear soul that was trapped in addiction, and spent some years in prison. She is now on a better path, and has Christ in her life. My soul would not rest until I found her. I wanted her to know that we love her, and God loves her.I love you my friend. Keep on touching hearts and lives, and don't let anyone silence you! My prayers are with you as you are sharing your heart.~Debbie
We are itching for reform in the institution that is adoption. Reform happens in the legislature but it also happens one on one. Little Kayla's life just changed not because a law changed but because an adoptive parent listened with an open heart , and took a step to do something different because of new information received.
One child at a time, friends.
One first mom at a time.
One adoptive parent at a time.
Yes, we make a difference through meeting with legislators and petitions and bills and phone calls. All that is great and necessary.
And, we also make a difference one on one.
The words we speak, the words we write, do make a difference.
Kayla's first mom's life has just changed drastically.
Kayla's life has also completely changed even though she doesn't even realize it yet.
And Debbie's and Brian's lives are changed too. Their circle of love has just enlarged.
I pray blessings for them, and for all adoptive parents who are seeking to enlarge their circle of love rather than shrink it.
Who are opening their arms and hearts rather than closing them.
Who are letting faith lead, rather than fear.
Photo Credits: Deanna Doss Shrodes