February 28, 2014

Happy Traumaversary!
Complex Trauma Recovery: One Year Later

One year ago today, Thursday, February 28, 2013 – I experienced one of the traumas that contributed to the complex trauma, and significant loss  I experienced throughout my life, and entered therapy for.

Last year on this day, I was overcome with such grief, it was all I could do to get out of bed in the mornings and brush my teeth. I've got a rhyming anointing... 

What a difference a year makes!

 “Happy” traumaversary? 

Am I crazy? 

According to my therapist, no. 

Not at all. 
Not the least little bit. 
In fact, she says–I'm doing amaaaaaaazing

Eight months after beginning therapy, our time together came to a close because I was doing too well to come back anymore.

So...why do I say, “Happy traumaversary”? Because after all I’ve been through, there's so much to be happy about! 

I’m not just limping along or barely getting by.

Even though no one else in the situation changed, unless you count dying I’ve changed.

I have a lot to share one year later, and in fact my next post, I'm going to share my “Trauma Toolkit”. Yes, that's right, Deanna's Trauma Toolkit. This is better than Ginsu Steak Knives. Better than McDonalds Shamrock shakes. Better than OPI's new nail colors. This is awesomesauce, my people.  

What do you need to get through trauma? I’m going to share this from a layperson’s point of view. 

I’ve said often here, I’m not a therapist. I’m just a fellow traveler on this journey of life. And so what I share with you in my next post is gonna sorta be like, “Overcoming Trauma for Dummies”. 

This will not be some brilliant post like Bonnie Zello Martin, Melissa Richards, Karen Caffrey or Corie Skolnick would write. (They are all therapists who have written posts here at Adoptee Restoration.) Don’t be expecting the brilliant clinical-speak that flows from these ladies, because I’m not a therapist. BUT…

They called me to be the next spokesperson for the Wounded Warrior Project.

There’s an official card in my wallet that says, “Primal Wound Survivor.” 

I’m going to give you the keys in my next post, that a therapist might not think to tell you. Stuff like, sometimes it helps to blare Kelly Clarkson's Because of You and stand on your bed in your pj’s with a hairbrush, lip syncing and pretending certain people are watching.

I have experience eating an entire bag of Utz barbecue potato chips followed by an entire container of Ben and Jerry's Fudge Brownie, while listening to the same song 17 times in a row on repeat, while staring at the walls.

I know a thing or two about trauma, yessirreeeBob! 

So the trauma toolkit is coming...pinky swear...but today I just wanted to give a word of hope to those who are finding it hard to get out of bed.

Or maybe, you’re thinking about giving up, altogether

Please, please, please take it on good authority from me your non-therapist dashboard head banger that life can look totally different for you, given time.

No, time alone will not heal you.

But time plus the right combination of other things can and will.

So please, whatever you do…don’t give up.

“I don’t have any other choice…” some of you say.

Well, yes you actually do.

And others make a decision to keep going.

Of those who make a decision to keep going, some just exist, and some live.

I invite you to live.

Give life a try.

Not just breathing and existing, but living abundant life.

It really is possible for you. So please, don't give up.

I pray for everyone who reads here. 

And today, on this traumaversary, I especially lift up those who are fighting the overwhelming urge to give up. 

Life can look so different for you, this time next year.