December 30, 2012

Why Adoptee and Restoration Are In
the Same Sentence

Photo Credit:Mike Cogh: Creative Commons
Some people restore old cars.

Others restore furniture.

I sense a calling to restore something far more valuable.

If you are reading this today, and you wonder why in the world  adoptee and restoration are in the same sentence, I'm so glad you've landed here. I know many of my adoptee friends will read this and never need an explanation. I'm glad all of you are here, but I'm especially glad that people who have yet to understand may read this and have pause for thought.

The prolific adoptee writer B.J. Lifton once said, "No one has yet put into words the complexity of being adopted."

That hasn't stopped some people from trying.

To be honest, I've only been "trying" publicly since July of 2012. I wasn't brave enough to write about this just a scant six months ago.

Photo Credit: Food Jungle, Creative Commons

I come to this blog, to this post, and to this day, humbly.  Blogging about adoption is not something I would have initially chosen for myself. The backlash directed at adult adoptees who openly share their truth is enormous. Just go to an adoption forum and read a few posts sometime and  you will see what I mean. What adoptee would wish this upon themselves? Why would they put their thoughts out there for public consumption, risking the vitriol, unless they truly believed it was necessary?  Some brave souls have done it for a long time. I stand in awe of their courage.

I've blogged for seven years about things I'm very comfortable with, for the most part. I've unintentionally made a few people really angry at times by writing transparently, but always about things I felt confident to write about. I've blogged prolifically about faith and ministry, leadership and relationships, marriage and parenting. I've written a few books, and articles galore, and even serve as the advice columnist for two Tampa papers. But in the journey of writing about all of this, something huge was missing. Intentionally.

Photo Credit: Gabriella Camerotti, Creative Commons

For 46 years adoption has made my knees knock and my palms sweat. I rarely spoke of it unless I was in a safe place. Sharing at times during rare moments of vulnerability taught me just how painful it could be.  Back in my shell I would go, retreating to the comfortable place inside my head where I could think what I think about adoption and feel what I feel, and it was okay.

In my quest for understanding and connection with other adoptees concerning post-adoption issues, I landed in an amazing community of women, at the Lost Daughters.  As the months went on, I began opening up publicly about adoption when I was accepted there not only as an adoptee and a friend, but as one of their bloggers. I am now privileged to serve as the spiritual columnist there.

Through  restoration in my own life, I realized a new path was opening for me -- that of helping to restore other adoptees as well as bringing understanding to Christians about a side of adoption most are unaware of.

Photo Credit: Bish, Creative Commons

 I hope you'll join me here on a regular basis as we unpack adoption issues, restore adoptees, and expand the understanding of Christians.

I know there are great writers who are already writing about adoption. Several of them have changed my life, forever. I'll be introducing them to you here on the blog in days to come if you don't already know them. I've listed some of them on the resource page. Why add my voice?  Because six to seven million people are counting on us. That's how many adult adoptees there are in America, alone. Millions are hurting and laws haven't changed fast enough. People have family members (that's right,  they are family) who are dying before they have the information they need to make a connection. Time simply runs out. Others struggle with serious (and sometimes life-threatening) unsolved medical issues that could be better addressed by knowing their history. So many battle all of their lives with their identity and the loss of their heritage. Some never rebound, despite what the adoption industry (yes it is an industry) want you to believe.

So many of our friends and family still don't understand. Quite frankly, we need all hands on deck. So here I am, in my place, alongside the others who have diligently plugged away at this for a while. They have been faithfully climbing the steep mountain that is the journey to equality for adoptees, all the while getting an emotional and verbal pelting as they go along. Nevertheless they bravely go forward.

They are heroes.

History makers.

Today's and tomorrow's B.J. Liftons.

Photo Credit: GlobeTrottingMatt, Creative Commons
Together, we're changing the world. 

Cars and furniture are great but nothing compares to restoring broken lives.

"But, wait a minute..." you say. "I don't understand. Didn't the adoption restore their lives?"

Like I said my friend, I'm glad you're here.  Read and learn.