July 29, 2013

"Why Can't You Just Be Happy?"
(Five Truths to Understand)

I have friends who fight human trafficking.
Friends who fight domestic violence.
Friends who fight racism.
Friends who fight world hunger.

Photo Credit: Lincoln Blues, Flickr

Everyone around them seems to think this is great. (Me included!) Nobody seems to ever ask these friends why they continue to care about these issues, or why they can’t just be happy.

This happens to me about adoptee issues, though. A family member recently remarked, "I just wish you could be happy..." Be careful, you might end up in my blog. This might be worse than gastritis, depending on the situation.

Because I am unhappy about one issue in the world doesn’t mean my entire life is unhappy.

I am unhappy about an injustice that exists in the world, yes. 

I hope to God everybody gets unhappy enough about injustices in the world to stand strong enough to right them.

I too am grieved by domestic violence, racism, world hunger and human trafficking, among other things.  Much of the world is clueless about the fact that all too often, infant adoption is  little more than human trafficking --  a market to the highest bidder. 
If you want to cut costs on adopting a newborn, you can also adopt them at less cost if the mother smokes. No, I'm not kidding.  Attention K-Mart Shoppers... If you don't believe even "Christian" infant adoption can be little more than a meat market, take a look at this.
That I speak out about the need for reform, and support family preservation doesn’t make me unhappy. It means I’m passionate about something I believe in, and something scripture declares God's heart is touched by too.

Anytime the Bible refers to mothers and their children being separated, God sees it as a tragedy. He repeatedly says He will comfort those who have been relinquished. (Psalm 68:5, Psalm 27:10, among others.) Why does He say that He will comfort us if there is nothing to be upset about?

Moses is often featured as a biblical example of adoption but think about the fact that God made sure his original mother nursed him after he was adopted and even arranged for her to care for him in his formative years. Apparently God cares about keeping moms and kids together if at all possible, for as long as possible. 

I wonder why the rest of the world doesn't care about this?

I’m driven by desire to help hurting people.

Because I’m unhappy about something that’s needs to be changed in the world and endeavor to make it right doesn’t make me an unhappy person.

“But you’re sad about recent events with your natural mom, and about some things about adoption…” you may say.

Photo Credit: Michael Ruiz, Flickr
Five truths to understand:

1) Everyone experiences loss at some point, or goes through seasons of sadness. It’s part of the human existence. 

2) Adoptees can love their adoptive family or natural family and not love adoption. (Adoption is an industry, not a person.)

3) It's okay to be angry or unhappy about things that are unjust in the world. Jesus got peeved too. I vaguely recall some tables being turned over...

4)  The fact that I can be happy in many areas of my life does not mean huge changes don't need to happen in the adoption industry. We need to make things right for the children, and for adult adoptees.

5) Adoptees can be happy in life, yet not be happy about everything about adoption.