March 30, 2015

Adoptees Deserve the Truth No Matter What

No. Matter. What.

That’s the absolute answer to the question, “Should all adoptees have the truth of their origin, no matter the circumstance?" 

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I am still very much in search mode. There is an active search going on with a team of people who are committed to help me search for my natural father. In fact, we are closer to the resolution of this search than ever before and have bona fide leads that are DNA matches.

I am cognizant of the fact that many people believe in some circumstances, it’s best that a person not know the truth. 

Or that when the truth is revealed and the person's father or mother ends up to be a rapist, abuser, criminal -- or even someone related to their other parent. (cases of incest) it's understandable that the truth was not revealed to them.

And I believe that’s bull.

In my book Worthy to Be Found, I shared that I don’t care if it’s revealed that my father is Jimmy Hoffa or a serial killer.  That wouldn’t matter one whit to me as far as my emotional health.

Nor would it change my mind at all, that the information should have been disclosed to me when I asked for it.

I know who I am.
I just don’t know who or where I come from.

But I do deserve to know, no matter how tragic the facts end up to be.

I have never doubted that my history may be ugly.
But an ugly truth is better than a pretty lie.

Some people have asked me if I will believe the withholding of information was justified in the end, if something horrific about my father is revealed.


Everybody deserves to know where they come from.

It really is as black and white, cut and dry, and simple as that.

Some things in adoption are very complicated.

This isn’t one of those things.