Triad Gone Postal!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go the adoptees.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go the adoptive parents.

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh go the natural parents.

It’s a relentless cacophony of wailing.

Photo Credit: Ryan Vaarsi, Flickr

3 More Things SOME Adoptive Parents Do That Drive Me Crazy!

It's back by popular demand! The things that SOME (not all!) adoptive parents (AP'S) do that drive me crazy.  

Photo Credit: www.petsadvisor.com, Flickr

Even the cats are screaming for change...

Now, if you are one of my many AP friends, don't get your panties in a bunch. If you don't do these three things, why do you even care? And if you do them...well, maybe, you want to reconsider doing them. Don't shoot the messenger -- consider the message.

After I shared the first 3 things SOME (not all!) Adoptive Parents do that drive me crazy, I heard reader's cries for more. So, here you go -- the latest portion of reality served up on a plate of truth. 

Why Many Adoptees Kiss God & the Church Goodbye (And Why I Didn't)

Some adoptees turn to God.

It seems many more turn away from God.

I get why.

I have served as a pastor for 25 years. And yet, even as a vocational minister, I understand the rationale that brings many adoptees to the place where they want nothing to do with God. Between questioning what kind of "God" could possibly plan or allow their relinquishment and adoption, to the cruel responses they get from Christians concerning their feelings about adoption or their search for their original family, their exodus from God and the church is not a mystery.

It is common for adoptees to receive messages from religious people throughout our lives:

"God planned you, as a gift to your adoptive parents."

"You are a special child...chosen by God to be adopted."

"Your adoption was ordained by God..."

"God knew all this and had a plan worked out for you to be with your adoptive parents..."

When adoptees struggle with post adoption issues and try to come to grips with the significant losses that have occurred in our lives, who do we blame? Of course it's only natural to pin the blame on God, since after all, everyone's been pointing to him as the mastermind of our adoptions for as long as we can remember.

"This Was Really Hard to Read..."

When adoptees share their truth on blogs, I've noticed that adoptive parents or potential adoptive parents (AP's and PAP's) often chime in on comment threads with, "Wow, this was really hard to read..." or something similar.


The feeling is definitely, "I wish you wouldn't have spoken up and said that. It hurts and it makes things harder."